That gay men are capable of sex without significant emotional cathexis has given rise to the idea that gay men are “promiscuous.” This observation - one of the key planks in the campaign to keep gay men homosexuals - tells us little about being gay.David Halperin, What Do Gay Men Want? An Essay on Sex, Risk, and Subjectivity (August 21, 2007), University of Michigan Press, p.antisocial impulse to queer revolt that may lead some gay men to have risky sex - the delirious pleasure some gay men may take in contravening both society’s norms and their own (“the rejection of normal life”).
Alexander, Growth and Intimacy for Gay Men, Taylor & Francis, (April 4, 2014), p. This type of person probably does not identify as gay, may not have any gay friends, and does not desire a lasting relationship with another man. The other life involves the man going out looking for gay sex. One is the life that looks fairly ordinary to the outside observer that is, no one would be able to look at this person and suspect anything gay about him. Historically, it has not been uncommon - and there are still men who behave this way today - for men who have sex with other men to have two lives. For many gay men, sex with another man is often seen as the sole expression of being gay. Sex for gay men has often been equated with a feeling of freedom and independence.